Stop that, Stop the “This Is Not a Check” Shit; it Isn’t a Joke!

You can’t be joking at a time like this when “dog’s eyes” are bloody, and there is no way to stem the flow!

So, I excitedly opened your mail, anticipating the “Big News Awaits You Inside,” which was printed on the glossy envelope. I start to read and then see the large amount next to the $ sign, and my heart nearly stops. Then it happens, I read…

“This is not a check.” So why do you send it to me? I hope not just to mock me considering the figure printed on it?

Do you see how people look for problems? Is it no wonder the amount of anger out there?

I sat quietly in my home, thinking positively (because I’m a positive thinker) that things may turn out well no matter the many turns one has to take in life.

And suddenly, here comes these guys supposedly looking to solve my problem.

To start with, even as I’m so broke right now, did I ask you to throw me any money?

What made you write that check and print that incredible awe-dropping amount of $50,000 on it with a

fancy signature, all printed on an obviously costly paper stock; then you have the gut to say, “This is not a check”? What the hell!

I think you need to have your head examined or taught a lesson. If this is your cockeyed attempt to make me happy with your brand, think again, buster!

If only I had the money, I think I would have hired the best attorney to teach you the lesson of your life as you would be paying me a considerable sum of money for mental distress damages. Then I would be given the money you didn’t want to place in my hands.

No wonder the famous Fela Kuti, in one of his songs, said, “when trouble sleeps, and yanga went to wake it up!

In other words, there’s enough trouble worldwide without adding deceptive advertising to the mix. Otherwise, make sure you take your blood pressure medication before you read your mail.

Thanks for reading!

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