Love, Which Love Is that?


Which love do we have in mind? The one in the air? Certainly, not the love in the air because it’s too elusive and in the air; therefore, it belongs to nobody yet to everybody. Have you heard love quotes such as “You’re sweeter than sugar in my tea?” “We were born for each other?” “The honey of my life?” and so many more? Even little children can show love in a variety of ways. The problem with real love, though, is that it’s easy to talk about, but not so easy to practice! This is especially true when it comes to the “For better for worse.” And “Till death do us part” love. The act should not be taken lightly, as it cannot be taken as a joke or a child’s game but only by those who can carry the real love not just on their chest but in their heart as well.

About the Various Types of Love

There can be many different types of love based on the definition that people give to it and their personal experiences. Because it may vary as the ocean tide cycles, some people may be enjoying love while others may be struggling to keep it alive. However, some simply do not want to talk about that subject at all.

The possessive or toxic nature of love that has engulfed so many individuals has caused their lives to be shortened and many to not live to tell their love stories. That’s it; love is too delicate, too complicated, and too deep to be treated casually. The unrestrained nature of it can be shocking. Love kills!

Our feelings can indicate the type of love we have. During the interaction, we become aware of how we act and react. Among many other things, it may be romantic, selfless, friendly, or playful. In other words, our feelings might signal a mixture of passionate and agape love. By identifying the blending of various types of love for different people, we can enable ourselves to combine various kinds of love to fit our targets.

The Out of this World Love

Love in the air is like air itself — it belongs to everyone. The Agape love, also called universal love, is the kind of love that Jesus has for us — one that is unconditional. It comes from the bottom of the heart where nothing is expected in exchange or in return. However, deep friendship love is one of loyalty and trusted friendship, which may blossom into a romantic relationship — family love or obsessive love. The term familial refers to the nature of family, while obsessive love can be out of this world. Obsessive love is also known as toxic love. Generally, it is regarded as an abnormal behavior caused by insecurity. Intense love can be abusive to the point that a partner is viewed as a possessive object. There have been many cases where obsessive love has led to tragic relationships, as well as the death of a partner, if not both.

The kind of love seen on TV (the playful kind) — the type we watch on “The Bachelorette.” Studies have shown that playful love has the slimmest chance of turning into a lasting relationship, as it has such a short contact period. Additionally, except that “The Bachelorette” candidates prove us wrong when few of them find their life-long partner; this playful love involves other dark spots. In the show (The Bachelorette), playful love is derived from pleasure, flirting, and fun. These are characteristics that prove helpful in initiating a new relationship between people when they are wooing, flattening, and chasing each other. It is prevalent among young people, but it has no age limit. In this kind of love, they make fun of one another and feel joy and happiness whenever they’re together. Though it may seem childish, hopefully, it will become a lasting love relationship.

John Lennon’s “All You Need is Love” And the “Love Is Not Enough,” by Trent Reznor.

Both are legends and successful singer-songwriters in their own right. This contrasting perspective of the songwriters on love provides a platform from which to look critically into this elusive concept from another perspective than what we have examined up until now.

Despite the complexity of love, the positions of the legends give an idea of how varied it might be. In essence, the song’s titles express two different philosophical positions and sentiments-both moving in opposite directions. One thing they have in common, however, is that they do not fail to attract their followers despite their differences. Through their different song titles, their divergent opinions must also have impacted their followers’ inclination toward adopting a lifestyle. Two views, which were originally planned to be private and personal, suddenly became public property.

Perhaps they believed their songs were crafted and sung to themselves and which meant a lot to them alone, so they kept them close to their hearts. Interestingly, that was not the case. Silently, the singers’ fantasy world has merged into the public domain. In turn, they have captured the hearts of their admirers and followers, which have wholly embraced their philosophy.

However, their philosophy has also defined these legendary figures’ lives in many ways. Lennon lived his life in direct contradiction to what he preached when he said, “All we need is love.” Yet, he assaulted his wives, heaped abuse on friends, and rejected one of his children. On the other hand, Trent, despite a run-down life and deep involvement in drugs, did everything he could to get clean and start moving forward again. He also fought hard and was determined to become a good husband, father, and family man.

So, how do you choose between “Love Is Not Enough” and “All You Need Is Love.”.

I don’t want to be judgmental, but honestly, let’s examine each of the two positions and determine what makes the most sense. In this fierce and complicated world, do I only need love to solve all my problems? Not at all. It, therefore, means love will not suffice to find answers to all my problems, regardless of how few or insignificant they are.

Nevertheless, the way we think about it matters as well. We know from the biblical definition of love that love “covers all things.” In other words, love has the power to overcome any challenge we face — because the love people possess can cover each other’s faults. That’s what John Lennon meant by “All We Need Is Love.”

Does this mean that Trent is wrong to assume that love is not enough? Perhaps he was trying to make us realize that other than love, many different aspects of our lives should be integrated into this excellent love project. I am explicitly recalling and listing those missing links: letting us know we have never been alone and we must learn to share and adjust our lives so that they conform to the new life of a man and a woman who are ready to share their life with another because of what we call LOVE.

It is exciting that despite the many versions and definitions of love, everyone experiences love in their own way with the people they care about most. Mutual attraction can eventually lead to an intimate relationship. Developing long-term relationships may require a combination of friendship and passion. Giving and receiving are essential components of a robust romantic relationship, coupled with passionate and compassionate love, which leads to greater satisfaction, joy, and optimal feelings toward each other.

Is there such a thing as true love?

Those aren’t two plus two equals four questions. The answer to this question is neither yes nor no. Of course, we wish to talk about true love, if such a thing exists at all. However, charity starts at home, as the saying goes. Self-love and compassion should come first, because if we don’t love ourselves, how can we possibly extend it to others? What can we give if we don’t have it? By learning how to give, we can also boost our self-esteem, confidence, and morale. To love others, we must first love ourselves; cultivating that habit and self-experience will enable us to freely give it to others.

From my perspective, true love can only be seen or experienced by those who are prepared to sacrifice, giving, and taking. They need to have the shock absorber that many people lack to be able to tolerate, forgive, and have the spirit to forgive. When and only when is one able to experience true love.

Love must be practical, realistic, and reasonable. It requires sacrifice, mutual understanding, and most importantly, empathy. Only selfless individuals can bring about this kind of love, and the partnership can reach marriage if everyone is ready to put their best effort forward. An affection based on responsibility, commitment, and sensibility. The kind of love that can lead to a long-term, enduring marriage. Making a long-lasting relationship and fulfilling the “For Better or for Worse” or “Until Death Do Us Part” vow.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Pedro Odubayo Thompson

Pedro Odubayo Thompson

Pedro is a village boy for he was born in a village. He’s a granny’s product bc his grandmother trained him — man of many worlds who had lived on 3 continents.